Thanksgiving wishes

Happy fucking thanksgiving assholes.
Turkey is good, and I enjoy killing these tasty gobblers.
I get my hand right up inside them and tear out their intestines to be boiled down and used in gravy.
FUCK PeTA, thanksgiving will never die.
Eat meat; all the cool mammals are doing it.  Do you want to be an uncool mammal?    


To reply to a wonderfully written and extremely GREAT comment I would like to say the following:


Whoever wrote this, and I have a generally good idea this makes me so happy to see that you are able to fully retort and reply in such a way makes me feel great, the amount of detail and thought put into that rant was marvelous.  I hope in time we will have a chance to sit and rant together, as I am sure we have many times before.

You have made some solid points, which for the most part, I whole heartedly agree with, minus the libertarian asshole comment.  Why brand yourself with a political name?  You sir are in a far different realm than that of the mindless radio political name calling.  Liberals and conservatives could never cognitively create such a reply, and I am sure you agree.

But there is a subtle irony in all of this, and perhaps an “ah-factor” is inherent

Classic liberalism is what Neo-Conservatives use as their party line, and what they preach.

Well, the PS degree argument was to merely prove a point, most people arguing about politics are white trash uneducated morons, or teens indoctrinated by music, but it’s these two groups who think their opinions and ideas are the most important and right.

Do you bug the shit out of me?

Come one, come all for the list (in short) of things that bug the shit out of me… who knows maybe you have been a perpetrator to one of the many things that piss me off. Read and find out, stop reading now if you’re a pussy. I’ll give you five; the list is extensive, so the five will be from different realms of animosity.


1. Karabiner (with keys) on your back belt loop

Yes, you listen to core music and you must look the part too, god forbid you dress your own way, we all know that life is about making sure you do what others think is right. Keep thinking inside the box asshat. I understand the purpose, you keep them there so at all times, if you think you have lost them just listen for the jingle. This whole fashion idea has gotten way out of hand, wallet chains died out after 1998 and here comes the replacement. I bet you idiots who wear them don’t even know what the use of it is, or how to spell it. I am sure you are still sounding it out… fucking clinically retarded moron.

Karabiner - noun - an oblong metal ring with a spring clip; used in mountaineering to attach a rope to a piton or to connect two ropes

I call the person who first did it a pioneer, but then everyone does it, now I hear it referred to as a “key ring”, I am sure the mountaineers out there are pretty pissed that the life saving devices they use are hanging around fashionably hardcore pre teens. How do you think the Hell’s Angels felt when they saw elementary school kids using wallet chains?

2. Do you have a political science degree? No, then shut the fuck up!
Oh the joy people get out of a good discussion over who is better; liberals or conservatives. Well news flash, you shouldn’t be talking about anything or forming any opinions about something you have no fucking clue about. You get your information from TV and news papers, good one hoss. You are not an authority on the topic of political science; therefore you shouldn’t be fucking talking about the subject. Most of the retards who ramble on about it haven’t gone to college, and those who have probably took an entry level PS class. PS stands for Politically Stupid, so all I have to say about this subject is I don’t want to hear your opinion, ever, unless you’re educated in the subject matter. Shut your mouth, open it only if you are educated, the world would have far less problems if idiots didn’t talk.

3. “BIGGEST GAMER ON CAMPUS”
This is for an event that happened last year on MTV, and I am sure it will happen again this year. All the assholes that were on this show didn’t have the slightest fucking clue as to what “gaming” is about. This event was supposed to see which of four or five kids were the “biggest gamers on campus”, and gamer to these kids was playing halo or madden 2005. Playing console games does not, EVER, make you a gamer. Gamers occasionally play consoles, but a true gamer is an online gamer. Gamers have a repertoire of games that they play, and they spread the ownage worldwide.
You’re a true gamer if:

• you have ever said “pwn” in real life
• proclaimed yourself to be 1337
• ever used the terms AoE, LFG, WTB, WTS
• have ever said “kk thx bye”
• said GG UNINSTALL
• played a game for more than 30 hours total
  
• been in a clan
• competed in a tournament (clan based)
• know what a “LAN party” is
• you have paid real money for items in a game
• can spell 1337 }{4><()]2 in English
• you know what dexterity is
• you know what piercing means
• you know what “nerf” means
• you know what a patch is
  

If you can look at that list, and nod your head to at least 10 of them, you’re a gamer. Your abilities of ownage stretch far beyond the pre school realm of consoles. The MTV video game challenge should be renamed, “Uncultured gaming swine challenge” in which the combatants play console games, and then fuck each other in the ass while listening to fall out boy.

4. I’m an American teenager, my life sucks [insert whiney phrase here]
Well that sentence is somewhat of an oxymoron, and I am sure some of you reading this blog apply to this category. I am certain I have ranted about this before, in one way or another but, what the hell? It’s always fun to make fun of whiney people.
For what ungodly reason do these kids feel they have life so horrible? Most of them are middle to upper class families whose parents work 9-5 and garden on the weekends. Some of your parents are divorced, boo hoo, quit whining about how it ruined your life, fucking use it to your advantage. Most divorced parents end up buying their children exurbanite amounts of toys and other things to “buy” their love. Don’t fucking blame them for your inability to stop being a whiney attention whore. You have life so much fucking easier than the rest of the world, and what do you do with most of your time, bitch and moan about things that have zero effect on the outcome of the world’s history.
If you can remember, if not you’re a moron, I said my first sentence was an oxymoron, why is that? Because, American’s have the best standard of living, what you consider a hindrance to your social and material life, some people would slaughter babies for. So in other words, get up, stop bitching, sign off AOL and myspace, and get a fucking life.

5. Protesting
The successful act of never getting anything accomplished. Hey, you have the right, why not? Well because you look like a fucking asshole. Yeah I disagree with shit, but I have other things to do other than march around like a fucking idiot chanting stupid sayings with a bunch of equally stupid people around me. Do these people honestly have nothing better to do; do they not have jobs, families, children, or just any responsibilities at all? What good has ever come of it, the civil rights movement? HAHA, that’s a fucking joke, most of those “peaceful” protests ended up in violence, which then leads to retaliation and so goes the vicious circle. I don’t feel that strongly about anything and I shouldn’t. What reasons do I possibly have to be pissed off? I live in America, I can do what I want, I can shit in my front yard, wrap it up, and sell it off as Justin Timberlake’s feces, some asshole somewhere would buy it. It’s a FREE god damn country, HOW could you POSSIBLY be that full of opposition, what you’re angry about a war? Wow great, I don’t see you fighting, frankly I don’t see you doing anything but bitching. So why don’t you go get a hobby, better the use of your time your going to die sometime.

Become and Intelligence Racist

Well fags, for those of you who read this religiously, I haven’t been able to update because my clinically retarded college professors decided to nail me with 3 tests this week. I crushed two of them with my superior knowledge but I was too burned out (information-wise, not weed) to even come close to crushing the last test. So I will give a rant a go ahead to vent the pent up frustration of mine.


Let us discuss the fact that stupidity is directly proportional to age, for idiots who cannot comprehend what “directly proportional” means its as one increases the other increases too at the same rate.

As I spent my time in the library yesterday for about 13 or 14 hours straight, I noticed the amount of stupid ass vandalism and graffiti all over the desks and tables. We are all within the ages of about 18-25 at college, save some 30+ people. So, being in college that says something about a person, you are obviously there to better yourself in life and all the other guidance counselor shit, why is stupidity so rampant then? At this age I can understand certain things, but what the fuck are you carving your frat house Greek letters into a desk for? You’re old enough to understand that if you ruin something sooner or later you are going to pay for it, and normally that’s tuition increases. What do you do when it comes down to that increase in money you pay a year, you bitch. Or lets look at the destruction of property: it seems to be the norm to run around and discharge fire extinguishers, well shit I hope there isn’t a fire you moron, because if I ever saw someone discharging a fire extinguisher prior to a fire, you wouldn’t see me coming to save your ass, and I would tell all the fire men to let you burn to learn a lesson. Idiot.

How about the school provides you with a pool and ping pong table, what do you do? Ruin it. I am one who enjoys the Ping Pong lifestyle, and when some fucking jerkass goes and ruins a table I just want to call for the murder of their first born child, shall they ever reproduce. Again another instance of break it, bitch about being charged for it later.

Lets look at examples later in life:

Women + Hot coffee = burnt crotch

Yes the classic story of the fucktard geriatric women (70+ years) who didn’t learn in her entire life that coffee was hot. She stuck the cup between her legs, uncovered might I add, and started driving. Congrats you are a fucking moron.

Fast food makes you fat?

Well, another classic example of stupidity with age. Take this 30-40 year old male, not the super size me guy, he decides that he is going to sue the fast food companies because it made him fat, he is not the stupid one – he is a clever and damn smart mother fucker. The idiot in this case is the fucking douche bag judge who granted this moron a settlement, he was stupid enough to think this guy was honest.



This could go on forever, and what better way to end with this thought. A few less stupid people would make my life a hell of a lot easier and less filled with hate and rage. So join my movement, become an intelligence racist, hate those who are dumber than you because, yes, they are inferior to you because of their own stupidity.

Fucktards and idiots

Why is it that everyone insists on making life harder than it should be? For example; I had a World Politics test this morning, 6 essay questions and 12 short answer questions, so in other words it was a bitch.
I studied for a fair amount of time for this test, realizing that there was a lot of information that was going to be covered… basically I studied my ass off. I knew all of the material and there is no question that I didn’t get an A on it.
BUT
After crushing all 6 of my essays in 30 minutes I quickly ran down my list of terms and banged out the short answer definitions for them all, only to hear some dim witted fucktard get up out of her seat and point out to the teacher that two of her essay questions were close in what the answer was. What did the teacher do, tell everyone to choose either that question or the other, but you cannot do them both. NOW there is a total of 12 essays, you pick 6. I picked the 6 that I could answer the fastest and to the best of my knowledge… TWO of those essays were the ones that the fucking idiot girl told the teacher about.

Here are the two questions, ponder them, and then TELL ME IF THEY ARE THE SAME.

1. Why is there a global south?


2. What are some reasons for third world poverty, and what can be done to change it?

Yeah, they both have to do with the third world, but in essence they don’t ask the same question, some of the answers possibly overlap, but to its entirety they are two completely different questions.

So, who is the idiot? The girl obviously, why in the name of fucking Christ would you point out… on an essay test, that there are 2 similar questions? Do you enjoy making your life and everyone else’s in the class a living hell of wrist cramps?

Honestly, if I were a mullah I would put a fucking jihad on her, hows that for fucking third world?

What did I do, I went up to the teacher, who is fond of me (not sexually you fucking dolts), and said “yeah… I did the 2 of them before that girl so wonderfully pointed out that they were somewhat similar in the fact that they had the same term in the question…. So do I have to write another essay?” and she said, “Yes, I will just look and combine the 2 essays you wrote into one answer, that should be sufficient, hurry up you only have 10 minutes.”


So yeah, even though I got an A on the test, and I am sure that the jerkass girl did too, I am the smart and more intelligent of the two of us. NEVER in my life would I point out that a teacher made a mistake on a test, not only would I kill myself, the entire class would mark me for dead.

So here is to idiots, stupid bitches, and fucktards everywhere… fucking it up for the rest of us intelligent people, KEEP IT UP, without you there wouldn’t be any violence and hate.

Cafeteria Irony

Cafeteria food, everyone hates it. Why can’t they just cook a decent, tasty meal? Why does everything come with a sauce? Well those of you asking these ridiculous questions have obviously never worked in a kitchen before, or around food for that matter. My kitchen sense comes from three different jobs, in which I cooked, served, and cleaned up food for people.
As most people in America think alike, we all want our food fast, hot, and tasty. We demand good service, yet we treat servers like shit. But then again most American’s don’t have the slightest fucking clue as to what actually goes into preparing a meal, and how many people it takes to actually bring you your food.
For one, when you work in a cafeteria setting you are looking at huge amounts of traffic in a finite amount of time. You are expected to have the food prepared and ready to eat. But this feat isn’t easily accomplished, you have the chefs who set out the daily menus then you have cooks to prepare the food, busboys to fill the trays under the buffet and make sure it looks neat and tidy, and you also have dishwashers and cashiers. All of the people working with each other to make the process run smoothly and efficiently.
Yet no matter what the circumstances are, people still find it necessary to bitch and moan at the taste, color, and whatever else they can think about that’s wrong with the food. Again fucktard, think about the volume of food that needs to be made each day to feed your whining ass. That large amount of food that needs to be produced is obviously going to go bland somewhere, and is obviously not going to taste like your mom just made it.
But the irony of the whole rant here is that people will gripe about shit up and down, and yet they still eat there almost daily, and even more interesting is they still seem to dish out the money to pay for the meals each semester.

Heres to you, Trendy college kid!

Here’s to you college boys and girls, the people who consistently redefine the word tool on a daily basis.  How can this be possible you ask, well then you have never been on a college campus?  There are some trends that need to be addressed before we can understand this redefining of tool.

Trend 1: “Days of the week, reinvented”
Days of the week beginning with adjectives that make you sound trendy; for example, “Wasted Wednesdays” or “Thirsty Thursdays”.  How fresh is this?  You mean to tell me someone actually came up with this, and they weren’t even a comedian?  That’s just what our generation needs, more god damn excuses to drink.  But the hilarity of this is not in the intelligence of creation of these words it’s that fact that no matter how much these kids drink and how unintelligent they really are, somehow, someway they manage to do better than me.

Trend 2: “Skipping”
First days of class are fun for me, I get to sit and listen to kids piss and moan over the teacher’s syllabus and whether or not they think the teacher is going to require attendance.  Where’s the logic in not going to class?  Boo hoo I was drinking last night and I am too hung over to go.  EXCUSE.  I’m not going to that class, I hate the teacher, and she is boring. EXCUSE.  I’m not going to go to the class, the teacher doesn’t take attendance; I’ll get the notes of someone else. EXCUSE.  
But this is the kicker; these kids (or their parents) are paying for the classes they are taking, WHY THE FUCK AREN’T YOU GOING?  You bitch about how much tuition is, you bitch about how much everything is, gas, food, movie ticket etc.  So what you mean to tell me is you can bitch and moan about certain things but you can waste the eight thousand some dollars it is to go to this school? Yeah, real fucking intelligent.  Hypocrisy is so rampant on college campuses, and most of these kids bitch about how politicians, parents, teachers, police are hypocrites, yeah that’s the kettle calling the pot black.

Trend 3: “Cheating”
Again, probably one of the biggest problems and yet nothing is ever done about cheating.  Here’s some insight to cheating.  You don’t study, “Its alright I’ll just copy it off Jim tomorrow”.  Cheating begets cheating, the more you do it, the more you are going to depend on it to further your education. You cheat in college algebra, you can’t do trig, you can’t do trig, you can’t do elementary physics.  It’s a vicious cycle, and yet so many idiots just cheat.  Hell I have cheated, everyone has, and if you say you don’t, you’re a fucking liar.
But, think of this in the future, cheating is a “present tense” oriented act.  You cheat because you didn’t study, so you just want to do good this time.  Well look 20 years down the road, hey fuck-o guess what, that class you cheated in, yeah you need it in life.  
Think about this next time you cheat, lets say you have kids, and your pediatrician cheated in college, and med school, oops he prescribed the wrong thing for your kids, oops your kid is dead.  Yeah its and extreme example, but it could happen.



We have looked at only three things that define what I like to call nu-tool.  Your basic tool is a frat boy, everyone knows that.  But the nu-tool is a beast of a different kind, just think mommy; my generation is going to be taking care of you in the future when you’re old.  Yeah college is supposed to be fun, but not a fucking drunken haze, your not here to party, yeah you can relax every once and awhile, but think of it as a fucking job.  Next time you bitch about having an 8 o’clock class -- think about this.  The real world gets up at 6 am and starts, not 1 in the afternoon.  Reality is a bitch, deal with it.  I have done my share of drinking, but not daily or weekly for that matter, college is the foundation for the rest of your life, and all I can see a majority of people doing is wasting money, if you’re here to party, fucking get a job as a garbage man and live near a college campus.

College sucks, learning sucks, but heinz sight is 20/20.  Spend your time dicking around and you will be sorry.

Rec Room

yes, everyone knows what a rec room is. a room used for recreational activities ie ping pong, pool, TV, poker.... what have you.

i live in a dorms, there is rec rooms. they consist of the things listed above. there is a table, which can be used for a variety of things, yes even studying, but lets all remember its a REC room.


rec - short for recreation

recreation - Refreshment of one's mind or body after work through activity that amuses or stimulates; play

great, we all understand its meaning now.

so when i want to relive some stress i go play ping pong. someone is always doing there fucking homework in the damn room, so i go in and they know they are going to have to listen to the ball hitting off the table and the paddles... making the preverbal "ping pong" sound.

what do i get from them, dirty looks and loud sighs. why do i get this you ask? because they exspect me to respect the fact that they are studying, perhaps i misread the sign, but since when did ping pong fall under the catagory of study room... never.

outside of the door reads "REC ROOM" and its in brail too, incase some blind person might confuse it for a study room.

hey, but in the end somehow i am still the asshole, why because i follow rules, or because i am intelligent enough to understand the fucking concept of a rec room. i dont know, maybe i am being insecure, but there is a fucking library, FULL OF FUCKING STUDY ROOMS.